columba-kos

2006-08-01 - 10:15 a.m.

I went to visit the place where you used to hang out, where you passed the hours waiting for something to happen, for somebody to show.

I spoke to a few people who were sitting on the bench that you liked to sit on. You carved your name into the wood of the bench, once. I knew it was your bench for that reason. There was a couple occupying the other half.

"Oh yeah, that girl. She came here all the time. I would try to talk to her but you know, she was focused on the business at hand and had few words to give me for free."

"She did okay at first, but later, she just waited and waited. One time I said I would buy her a coffee, but she was not interested in my charity."

The woman remembered her too. "She was young, like most of the girls who wait around, but I knew that she was having trouble. Her legs started to get that look when you know that the blood is bad, not pure. Sometime she stopped coming. I had not seen her for a while. Her clothes started to have the worn fabric. Poor thing."

Later, I found another man who remembered you. He was in his fifties. He spoke about you easily. You made some impression on him. It was when I mentioned that you were Romany that he grew silent. After that I could not get a word out of him. But I could see that he was upset by my having mentioned it.

The cast of the sky changed, and a touch of wind picked up, blowing the leaves through the square. 'Where are you?' I thought. I could spend a lot of time here and never find you. I knew that you were somewhere, but not anywhere that I would go to find you. I felt badly about that, but knew that I would need to protect myself from the reality of our world and that is to say your world and mine. I could find you waiting for something to happen in some place, but I would rather not go to a place where there was no waiting for anything to happen and all it took to experience the happening was to keep one's eyes open, one's body in motion. My eyes were shutting against this verit�. I'm sorry.

Te khalion tai te shingerdjon che gada, hai tu te trais sastimasa tai voyasa.

May your clothes rip and wear out, but may you live on in good health and in fulfillment.
Romany phrase

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